Visit me in my dreams
by Jennathedreamer
Summary: Set from Jamie's 6th birthday. How the group deal with loosing a freind. Haley's point of view. N/H and some P/L.
1. Chapter 1

**Visit me in my dreams.**

**Author:** Jennifer the dreamer.

**Summary:**Haley's point of view, how the aftermath of a death takes it's toll on everyone and how no matter how hard they try to move on they still think of the friend they lost. Takes place from the day of Jamie Scott's 6Th Birthday.

**Couples:** Nathan & Haley of course, & Some Peyton & Lucas.

**Author's notes:**I don't know where this came from. Deals with Suicide so can be quite up-setting for some.

**Disclaimer: **The characters in this story are not mine.

**chapter 1.**

There are moments that no matter how much time passes, or how much you try to forget - Stay with you forever. You remember every single detail, every single word. I had one of those moments on my son Jamie's 6th birthday. I awoke in a empty bed that morning, sun glaring in from outside. I started up at the white ceiling for a what seemed like hours curious to know where 6 years had gone as it only felt like yesterday I was going into labour during my graduation and a couple of hours later I had a beautiful baby boy in my arms. My son disturbed my thoughts by bouncing into my room happily with a gorgeous smile on his face. We discussed the birthday boys plans for the day, I gave him his six kisses and then he placed a single long slender beautiful white feather on my bed and asked where it was from as when he awoke it was on his bedside table. I touched the feather and smiled and told him it must have been from his pillow as it was the most logical explanation, he frowned as if in disagreement but didn't say a word he simply picked up the feather and gave me a kiss before rushing out the room, I assumed to go find his father who I could hear from my open window was playing basketball in the backyard. I remember glancing at my alarm clock which in big red numbers told me it was nine-thirty, I closed my eyes for what must have been minutes then the phone rang. My initial thought was it was a close friend or family member calling to speak to my son, I grabbed the phone and answered it with a smile on my face. The smile soon faded as I heard a soft quivering voice that a recognized straight away as Peyton Sawyers a very close friend for many years. I asked her what was wrong to which there was a long silence before she told me that Brooke had died, Brooke Davis was dead. The pretty girl I had adored for years was gone and the sunshine that filled my bedroom was gone and all that was left was the darkness.

* * *

"Nathan, can I talk to you for a minute" I yelled calmly from the backdoor, I didn't know how I was keeping it together. After talking to Peyton for about ten minutes on the phone and listening to the details of Brooke's death I was ready to collapse in a heap and sob my breaking heart out, but I couldn't for Jamie's sake. Jamie carried on playing with his new basketball happily as my husband walked across the patio towards me the closer he got to me the more I could see his beautiful smile fade, He knew something was wrong.

I closed the door after Nathan who's smile was now a frown "What's wrong?"

"It's Brooke, she's…" My bottom lip trembled and my whole body was shaking "She's dead."

Nathan's face turned a shade of white "How? What happened?"

I didn't want to recount the events, and I didn't know everything "Her body was found this morning in New York, They don't know what has happened but she'd been dead for a couple of days" I took a breath "Her Mom found her, she called Peyton who called me."

Nathan walked towards me and wrapped his arms around me in the way that usually made me feel so safe and untouchable, but today all the safeness and security had gone and I was scared and had never felt so sad in my life.

"I don't know what to say" Nathan whispered, I knew he was holding back the tears a small part of me wished he would cry so then I could without feeling so weak.

I squeezed him tightly arms around his waist "I need to call people, Lucas for one. Oh and I need to go over to Peyton's place a officer is coming by to talk and-"

"It's okay Haley take a breath." Nathan whispered before kissing my forehead lovingly and the panic I was feeling calmed.

"What's wrong Momma?" A small voice asked from the back door.

Jamie hadn't called me Momma in about six months apparently Mom was much cooler and made him feel that little bit older.

"Jamie come here we have something to tell you" I keeled down.

Nathan looked at me "Maybe we should wait till we know the facts?"

"No Nathan, he needs to know and he isn't stupid he knows there is something is wrong, lying is not going to help."

Nathan nodded and got down as well so we were all on Jamie's level his innocent eyes and look of concern are still etched in my mind.

I took a deep breath, "Jamie, sometimes things happen in life we have no control over and they a so very sad-"

"Is it Grandma Deb? She said she was sick? Is she not coming to my party?"

"No. Grandma Deb is fine.." Nathan explained "It's you're Aunt Brooke."

Jamie frowned "What about her? Is she not coming to my party?"

"Jamie baby, something sad happened. I just got a phone call and Brooke has passed away."

I couldn't bear to look at his face, he looked so sad yet so confused. Come to think of it I think that's how all three of us looked.

Jamie broke free of our grasp, "No I don't believe it." he screamed before running towards the stairs.

I tried to get to my feet to follow but my breaking point came and I fell to the floor in a heap and the tears fell, I cried for Brooke, I cried for my son. Nathan wrapped his arms around me again and I let him for a few moments as I tried to catch my breath through the sobs. I hadn't cried so much in years, I hadn't felt pain like that in a long time.

"Go you need to be with Jamie, I have to go help Peyton. Bring him over there soon once he's calmed down a little." I told Nathan.

"I can't leave you like this Hale's you need me." Nathan said pulling me up to my feet.

I wiped away the tears on my cheeks, "Our son needs us more, he loved Brooke just as much as we did - Maybe even more."

Nathan kissed my forehead for the second time that day and headed upstairs to find Jamie.

* * *

Peyton Sawyer and I had had differences over the years but we were solid friends, she was one of the best I knew her well enough to know thought's she had when she was seventeen/eighteen would be resurfaced. Peyton has lost her biological mother around that time but was also still dealing with the death of the mother that raised her long before. Brooke and Peyton had been best friends before I was ever in the picture and I couldn't let her deal with her grief alone. I recall the taxi drive over to Peyton's, I was wondering why I didn't drive then thinking that driving was a stupid idea and how possibly could I drive? In-between the sobs. The taxi driver eyed me in the mirror probably debating whether or not to ask if I were okay, but he didn't he pulled up out front and I gave him a twenty dollar bill and rushed out before collecting my change, but that didn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

I hugged Peyton, maybe we were clinging to each other. I could tell she was being strong, I wondered why her reasons were.

"I called Lucas, he's coming on the next flight out." Peyton informed me.

I nodded, I wiped away a loose tear on Peyton's left cheek "Mouth and the guys know?"

"I called mouth and skills, apparently I didn't need to. It's breaking news." Peyton said looking toward the television set which was on yet silent.

I grabbed the remote and took it off mute, there was scenes of a body under a body bag being lifted into a ambulance. I couldn't help but cringe, Brooke's body being displayed for the world to see. Though it was covered still it made me feel physically sick. There were cops there and reporters and paparazzi everywhere in the scene.

_"The body of Fashion designer Brooke Davis was discovered at approximately nine am this morning when Miss Davis's mother called at her hotel room after there had been no word from her in two days. The cause of death is not yet known, sources are saying that Davis's naked body was found in her bath tub and she was surrounded by an array of pills and alcohol. It is not yet known if the reports from the sources are true."_

I remember the blond reporters words so clearly, what were they saying? They were insinuating that Brooke has took her own life that's what shocked me the most at the time. Anyone that knew Brooke knew she would never kill herself, but I guess most people that commit suicide are never the type to do so. What is the suicide type?

"This is making me sick, they are saying she killed herself?"

Peyton nodded, "It's ridiculous it really is."

There was a loud knock at the door, Peyton gave me a worried glace before walking to the door. I flicked off the TV I had seen enough. At the door was a female and male police officers, they looked serious and stern.

They told us they were sorry for our loss and the niceties, they explained Brooke was to undergo a post Morten and results wouldn't be known for maybe up to a week but there was a note left at the scene and they were treating it as suicide. Of course Peyton and I objected telling them that our Brooke would NEVER do such a thing and they had it wrong. They sympathized but were simply the messengers sent to deliver the most horrible and devastating news I'd ever received. They would be in touch.

* * *

Jamie had asked me why he should wear black to a funeral? I said he didn't and Brooke wouldn't want him too and that he should wear his favourite top. In fact everyone agreed that Brooke wouldn't want a black depressing funeral she's want to be remembered for what she did and that was decorate the world so colourfully.

I thought of Brooke Davis a lot, mainly at night lying in my bed. I would think of her voice and how she sounded, the way should laugh and giggled as she played with Jamie. I remembered her nicknames for everyone, and how she cared so much about every single one of her friends so dearly. I would think of little things such as the sun lounges by my pool which we'd sat in the past summer evenings after Jamie was asleep talking about silly things with no major relevance and sipping wine and laughing so hard that Nathan would come outside and tell us to quiet down. She was such a bubbly, creative, thoughtful beautiful girl.

I cried for her.

I couldn't figure out what would make her want to take her own precious life, I didn't believe she would. But my broken heart was in denial and pieces and I wouldn't accept it for a long time after.

I noticed in the couple of weeks after her death that Jamie would carry that white feather with him everywhere, and I very often found him asleep clutching it closely as if it were a security blanket of some sort. I didn't question it until the day of the funeral when we sat at home waiting for the funeral car, we were alone in the den huddled together on the couch.

"Jamie honey why do you carry that with you wherever you go?" I asked perplexed.

Jamie gave me a sideways glace "You will think I'm silly."

"James Lucas Scott I would never think such a thing!" I assured him.

He gave me a tiny smile, the first since Brooke's death "At school Britney Grooves told us that she found a white feather on the floor and that her Mom had told her it was from her guardian angel her grandma and it had been left there to show her she was watching her." Jamie explained to me.

That was the last thing I thought he would say and it shocked me, "So you think-"

"It means you have been visited by a angel, Brooke left it."

Folklore, tales, there was no truth in this, I had a belief in god and at the time it was much stronger but angles? I wasn't sure I could allow my son to have such a belief in such things. I was speechless to say the least.

"Haley, Jamie the car is here." Nathan called from the front door before I had time to reply.

Jamie jumped to his feet "And Momma I haven't got feather pillows." and with that he ran to the door and out of sight.

I sat for a moment, Jamie my six year old son was right he didn't have feather pillows. I couldn't believe it, yet the moment passed quickly and more logical explanations came to mind.

"Baby you ready?" Nathan asked appearing again.

I got to my feet and pulled on my heels, "Where is Jamie?"

"In the car with Lucas, why you okay?"

I shrugged, "Jamie thinks that feather is from an angel, from Brooke!"

I could see Nathan working things through his brain he smiled, "What's so wrong with that?"

I didn't expect a reaction like that, "Nothing, but should we let him have such a strong belief in something like that?"

"Haley you should be proud that our son could entertain such a idea and the he has the brains to deal with his grief in such a beautiful way."

Nathan was right, I just didn't feel right about it. Thinking back I was probably more mad that Jamie was dealing with her death a lot better than I was.

"You are right, he's such a amazing boy. And hey nothing to say it wasn't a angel huh." I said embracing Nathan.

Nathan kissed my lips softly yet briefly, "That's more like my girl, were all dealing with her death differently at least the worry of Jamie is less you know."

"Yeah we have a brave boy, takes after his Daddy."

Nathan frowned, "His mother more like. So how about we get through today as a family."

I buried my head in Nathan's chest, mainly to stop the tears "Yeah lets do it!"

* * *

The smell of flowers made my nose itch, I remember that so clearly. The church was packed. The family had asked for a private family and close friends only funeral but still the church was packed to the rafters and there was police out front of the church to hold back reporters and fans and members of the public wanting to either pay respects or get a glimpse of what the fuss was all about. I sat in-between my brave little man Jamie and my best friend Lucas Scott. I held both there hands so tightly as if, if I let go I would drown. Peyton clung to Lucas on the other side while Nathan sat next to his son. The service was beautiful Marvin McFadden did a reading, he held it together so well. Peyton was supposed to get up but when it came time she couldn't… so I squeezed her arm before walking up to the front past Brooke's mahogany casket.

_"I'm Haley James Scott, I haven't prepared anything to say but like Brooke I'm just going to tell it how it is - straight from the heart. I could go on about Brooke's good points and what an amazing person she was. But any true friend sitting here today that really knew her knows all these things already and they have already been said many times. I love this girl, she made me a better person just for knowing her. Life without Brooke is going to be so, so hard but we have memories and while she was here she defiantly left her mark on the place. I read a quote a while back by Winston Churchill, **'I am ready to meet my maker, whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal or meeting me is another matter.'** I like that and it reminds me of Brooke and how she would say something to the sort - and I agree they are so not ready for her but god you guys up there are going to love her. I am blessed to have known her, she was my son's godmother and will forever be in mine and my families hearts."_

I spoke without fault and didn't cry until the final word left my mouth. I stood down and took my place back between my son and my buddy. Nathan who had tears in his eyes smiled at me, I cried again and Jamie took my hand the little kid who as stronger than all of us.

* * *

It had been about a month I think since we buried Brooke. Things were not necessarily getting easier but we were coping better. I still spent my nights thinking of Brooke and even sometimes waking up with a wet pillow and Nathan telling me I'd been sobbing in my sleep. Peyton had moved in and I was glad, she needed us and we needed her though the pain was still there we dealt with it together.

"I haven't heard you play in a while, why don't you play something?" Peyton suggested as we sat at either ends of the couch.

I glanced at the piano, "I haven't had any inspiration I will soon enough."

Peyton put down her pad and pen "Were supposed to be putting together an album here we have six good songs but we really need to be getting moving."

"I know and I will, and anyway haven't seen you draw this much in a while." I changed the subject.

Peyton gave a long sigh, "I've had plenty of inspiration."

I looked sideways at her current drawing, It was of Brooke. Just her pretty face smiling.

Lucas entered the den and gave us both a weak smile "How are you guys?"

"Good I guess… You?" I asked.

Lucas looked at Peyton for a moment before replying "Same, it's tough you know."

Peyton and Lucas at the time of Brooke's death were going through the motions. A couple of months before Brooke's death they had gotten back together after a couple of years of angst and a jilted groom. But since Brooke's death they had drifted apart, I hadn't seen them together sine the wake of Brooke's funeral.

"I'm going to go see if Jamie is okay." Peyton said rising from the couch and taking her pad and pen with her up-stairs.

Lucas shook his head, "Before you say anything don't ask."

I scoffed, "Oh come on. What is going on between you guys? I thought loosing Brooke would have brought you closer together if anything!"

"I feel guilty, I think Peyton does too."

I was confused, "Guilty? For what?"

Lucas sat down next to me and sighed sadly, "Because we were happy, and Brooke wasn't."

I had felt that guilt a few times, wondering how maybe if I hadn't been so caught up with my own stuff would I have spotted Brooke's sadness and anger and been able to help.

"You can't say that, you will end up blaming yourselves."

"I do blame myself slightly Haley, we shouldn't have been so caught up in each other and thought of Brooke, called more, seen her more?"

I didn't like to think of my friend Lucas having these thoughts, "No you can't say that. Brooke was delighted that you and Peyton got back together, and understood you guys wanted to spend time together alone." I tried reassuring him.

"I know she said that but who knows. And Peyton feels the same and we can't look at each other without blaming ourselves"

Brooke had been happy, I'd spent a lot of time with her during the Peyton and Lucas reunited tour. I in no way believed Brooke was up-set about the couple getting back together, if we were going down guilt street I could have called her more once she went back to New York for business and a vacation away from tree hill.

"We all have these thoughts and what If's but we can't let them ruin our lives. You need to really talk to Peyton and work this out. Brooke would not want this at all."

Lucas smiled at me, "She'd be telling us to get our act together."

"Yes and telling you never to wear that shirt again. It is disgusting." I joked lightening the conversation, it worked and Lucas laughed and slapped my leg playfully.

* * *

"I found this picture in the attic, thought you'd like it out." Nathan said one morning a few days after my talk with Lucas.

I looked up at the picture witch was framed with a little dust on. It was from my wedding, my second wedding in fact which Brooke had helped me plan with all her might, even making me the most perfect dress…eventually. Brooke has been my maid of honour, it was a picture of Nathan, Brooke and myself on that wedding day. Brooke in the middle smiling brightly.

I stared at the pictured, "It's beautiful Nathan."

"Yeah, thought you would like it out. We took it down after Jamie started walking and touching everything." Nathan laughed.

I smiled, "Yeah I didn't want it getting ruined."

Nathan I knew was being genuine and knew it would make me happy to see as I had forgotten about the picture. But I knew Nathan wanted it out, he'd known Brooke far longer than myself and he had kept a lot of his feelings inside. Maybe he kept those feelings in for myself and Jamie or maybe he just didn't know how to deal with them.

"You miss her too don't you?" I asked sitting the frame above the fireplace.

Nathan stood beside me and looked at the picture, "She was my friend, I do miss her Haley."

I placed my hands lovingly on Nathan's unshaven face, "Of course you do."

"I just, I don't know. Maybe I don't feel right being upset when I am supposed to be strong for you and Jamie."

"Don't ever feel like you can't do anything. You have feelings Nathan. We all loved her please never feel like you can't express your feelings. I love you so much" I kissed him after I spoke.

Nathan ran his hands down my waist and onto my butt, "You always make me feel better Mrs. Scott you know that?"

I kissed him again quickly, "I hope so, I have some news."

I had BIG news, for the past week I had been feeling sick and I was late on my period. I'd done a pregnancy test earlier that morning and it was positive. I didn't know what I felt but I had battled with my feelings about it all morning.

"Oh yeah what news?" Nathan asked.

"I am pregnant." I said.

I cut right to the chase, he deserved that and beating around the bush only made things worse. When I was pregnant with Jamie I'd taken a while to tell Nathan and he wasn't to happy with being in the dark for so long - Brooke had been the first to know.

Nathan stood wide eyed for a moment, "Oh my god." he pulled me more tightly.

"Are you happy?" I asked.

"I am so happy." Nathan replied we kept hugging, he picked me up and spun me around.

I laughed, "Nathan stop"

Nathan put me down and took my hands in his, "Haley I love you, I'm going to be a father again! I can't believe it."

"I haven't smiled this much in weeks" I said happily.

"What are you guys so happy about?" Jamie asked as he entered the den.

Nathan and I exchanged happy looks, "we need to have a talk with you."

"Spit it out already." Jamie said cockily.

I let out a laugh, "Don't talk like that Mr."

Jamie rolled his eyes, "Sorry Mom, what is it?"

Nathan took his hand in mine and we sat with Jamie on the couch, I could see Jamie was so eager to know what was happening.

"You're Daddy and I are going to have a baby, you are going to have a brother or sister."

Jamie sat for a minute, "Brooke told me this would happen, I am happy. But will I still be your number one boy?"

I paused, "Of course baby, you are number one. What do you mean Brooke told you?"

Jamie kind of shrugged, "I talk to Aunt Brooke in my dreams, we talk she tells me stuff."

I didn't know what to say yet again, "What kind of stuff?" I asked.

"Like about school and Chester, about you and Dad and everyone else. She looks after us all."

"Wow were lucky huh? To have Brooke looking out for us." Nathan said nudging me.

I guess I looked a little shocked, "Yeah we are. So are you okay with having a brother or sister?"

Jamie nodded, "Yeah, I want a brother, girls are bossy and all the girls in my class have to have there own way or they cry and get moody!"

Nathan laughed, "Welcome to the world of women son."

I laughed but Jamie's dreams were bothering me, even now with my good news. Jamie kissed us both and went off to play his wii.

"Dreams? Nathan is this healthy?" I asked worriedly.

"It's dreams, and it helps him cope I guess. It isn't doing him any harm right?"

Nathan was right, "Yeah I guess."

"Anyway so who we going to call and tell first?" Nathan asked excitedly.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

**Visit me in my dreams.**

**Chapter 2.**

I liked Thanksgiving, in fact I was always a fan of the holidays. I enjoyed spending time with my family and friends. It was the first holiday since Brooke has passed away and things were okay. Except I was six months pregnant and starting to remember all the cons to pregnancy like the constant heartburn, my jeans no longer fitting, the back ache. But still I was happy.

"I'm moving in with Lucas." Peyton said out of the blue and she poured out cranberry sauce into a dish.

I stopped mashing the potatoes, "About time, kind of inevitable"

"If you need me to stay I will, I mean I love being here-"

"Peyton it's fine, I am happy for you guys. God knows it's been a long time coming."

Peyton and I had become accustomed to living together, we supported each other through some dark times the past months and we had a routine. I had loved Peyton living with us but she was right the timing was right.

Peyton smiled, "I didn't want to rush into things with Lucas you know but now it feels right. But listen I'm still going to help out with Jamie and be over here most days to work on the album and when that baby comes-"

"Peyton…" I said cutting her off, "I know."

Peyton was now making the gravy, "Thanks Haley for having me and being an amazing friend. Without you and Nathan supporting me through the past few months I wouldn't have made it and I have felt like a part of the family and that's' what I needed!"

"And we needed you, I am proud of you."

Peyton smiled at me a little teary eyed, "Thanks Haley."

After our talk we served dinner turkey, mashed potatoes, all the trimmings. Nathan sat as head of the table, around the table sat Jamie, Peyton, Lucas, Nathan's mother Deb, Marvin McFadden and skills as he liked to be known.

"Can I say thanks Mom?" Jamie asked as we all took our seats.

I nodded "Okay go ahead."

"Jamie closed his eyes, "Thanks for the food and for my bunny rabbit Chester and my lizard diggy . Thank you for letting Brooke be my godmother and thank you for giving me the chance to know her."

After a long paused Lucas raised his beer, "Here, here!"

Everyone smiled and rose there glasses, I raised my Orange juice and gave my son a wink.

"So any names yet?" Deb asked as we all began to eat.

Nathan smiled, "A few, Haley has been reading baby name books for the past two months."

"Well picking a name for our babies is hard!" I exclaimed.

"I think we'll know when we see them." Nathan said giving me a smile before taking a bite of the turkey.

"You know what's a good firm name right, Antwon!"

I laughed, "I'll keep that in mind."

"Yeah and Peyton is great for the girl." Peyton said jokingly.

"I have the best name." Jamie said cheekily.

Lucas nodded, "I agree with the kid, Lucas is the best name."

We'd named Jamie's second name after his uncle Lucas. I wanted the names of our next two children to have a meaning.

"Twin's man, double trouble. It's going to be crazy around here soon." Skills said.

"Crazy at your place too, you don't get out of babysitting duties that easy." Nathan said waving his folk at Skills who laughed.

"I think it's great, who would have thought in our freshman year of High school we'd all be sitting here with all this stuff going on in our lives." Mouth commented.

He was right no one would have ever predicted the turn of events over the years.

"And you mouth landing that sport's reporting job in Florida, are you happy?" I asked.

Mouth shrugged, "I guess, it's kind of bitter sweet you know."

Everyone around that table knew what he meant, though life was moving on and we were starting to enjoy the happy moments - somewhere along the line we felt sadness and guilt for it, and we missed Miss Davis so much.

"I have some news." Lucas said making everyone turn there attention his way.

Lucas smiled and took Peyton's hand, "I asked Peyton Sawyer to Marry me and she said yes."

Everyone in the room let out a almighty burst of congratulations, I was happy for them they deserved that right.

* * *

I looked down at the memo that was laid out in front of me on my desk. It saddened me to the core. It was letting the teachers of Tree Hill High school know that due to the recent teen suicide of teenager girl Kerry Booth we should remember students may be up-set and that there was counsellors at the school and the refer a student if they become up-set. I wondered what made people think that there was no other way out of there pain but to end there own life. I thought about Brooke, at this point seven months since her death things still didn't make sense and even Brooke's mother sharing the suicide note with us still maybe confused me. Brooke had left a short note in her pretty neat hand writing stating that the business was on top of her, she felt alone and pressured and after a string of failed romances, And drama with her mother over the business she had slipped into a depression and couldn't deal with it anymore. I was mad at her, she could have come to me and talked. It was so not like Brooke to just give up. But even now I guess we will never know what was going through her mind before she took her life, or even if she really meant to. There I sat six months Pregnant wondering if anything in the world would be right again?

"Shouldn't you be on maternity leave or something?" Lucas asked entering the empty classroom he walked across and sat on my desk.

I smiled, "Not yet buddy, I want to work and keep active for as long as possible."

"You look like you are about to burst."

I glared at him, "Well I am carrying twins here."

Lucas put his hand on my belly, "I'm sorry, you look beautiful."

"I feel fat, nothing fits me, Nathan thinks I am a whale." I pouted before I buried my head in my hands.

I heard Lucas let out laugh, "Haley, come on you got like this with Jamie. And Nathan does not think you are fat. You are having babies"

"I know, I had forgotten all the little cons to pregnancy." I muttered still hiding my face.

"Just think in three months you will be holding two gorgeous babies and thinking all the weight gain was worth it." Lucas tired to make me feel better.

"I know, I know. So anyway you have that look like you want to tell me something?"

"I am going to sound stupid." Lucas said with a embarrassed twitch.

I frowned, "Okay, I'm listening."

"I had a couple of dreams about Brooke lately real intense one."

Good logical Haley kicked in, "So has Jamie, I think because she is always on our minds were bound to. It's just like dreaming of a friend after you have been with them all day."

Lucas stood up, "No like were having conversations and stuff, about Peyton and I. About work and how everyone is doing it's so real."

Not for a minute did the thought come into my head that it was real and Brooke was visiting him in his dreams from wherever her soul rested, but did Lucas want me to?

"Have you talked to Peyton about this?" I asked.

Lucas shook his head, "Oh Peyton my soon to be wife? Tell her I am having dreams about Brooke who I used to date? I think she will be freaked out."

"Jealous?" I asked confused.

"No! No but I just don't feel right telling her about them you know."

I gave him a confused look, "You should tell her. She'll understand. You miss her, it's probably your brain unconsciously doing it so you can keep her around and her memory fresh."

Lucas threw his hands in the air, "Maybe, I don't know."

"I don't think you are crazy. I love you, I just think were all still grieving and it's how your dealing with it. Jamie is the same."

"You are probably right, god knows you are about most things." Lucas smiled before heading toward the door.

* * *

I never had major cravings with Jamie, sure the odd one or two but with the twins I craved the weird and wonderful and at the most random times of the day. Christmas was in two days and we'd been rushing around trying to get everything Jamie wanted and get all the food in as everyone always ended up spending the afternoon at our place - which I liked we had the mornings for family time and afternoon and evening for friends and family. Since Brooke died I think we realized how important spending time together was.

I turned over in bed and flicked on the bedside light, "Nathan wake up."

Nathan groaned then shot up, "Is it the babies are they coming?"

I grabbed his arm soothingly, "No, I am craving raspberry ice-cream and cookie dough all mixed up together in a bowl."

"Go make some then." Nathan said closing his eyes and relaxing a little.

I scoffed and pinched his arm, "My feet are the size of watermelons, my back is hurting I have two babies inside of me and you expect me to go all the way to the store?"

I could see Nathan sigh and open his eyes, "So we have none of that in the kitchen?"

"No I ate it all the other night." I said with a pout, my hormones were **CRAZY.**

"Fine I'll go get you some my baby." Nathan said swinging his legs out of the bed.

I felt my lip quiver, "You hate me don't you?"

Nathan turned and perched next to me putting his arm around me, "No of course not."

"I am a hormonal wreck that can't stop eating crap." I sobbed into Nathan shoulder.

I could see Nathan smile, "Hale's you are allowed to eat crap and be hormonal you are pregnant."

"I know, you must not find me very attractive right now."

"You have never looked as beautiful." Nathan assured me rubbing my rather large belly.

I took his hand, "You mean it?"

Nathan kissed my head, "Yes. You are the mother of my child and soon to be children, you are my gorgeous wife and you are my best friend Haley James Scott. Don't ever let them hormones get you thinking otherwise."

Nathan always knew how to melt my heart, "I love you Nathan."

"I love you too Haley, you know you woke me up from the weirdest dream."

His words now melted my smile, "Dream? About Brooke?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?" Nathan asked bemused.

"Just a guess, plus Lucas had one a couple of weeks ago and told me about it."

Nathan looked puzzled, "So strange and so real."

"What happened in it?" I asked, curiosity got the better of me.

"We were in like a wide open space, like a dessert. We were just standing there talking about stuff. We were talking about you and the babies, Jamie. She said she missed him so much, and us." Nathan spoke as if it had happened so sure.

It was starting to get strange now in my opinion, "Same kind of thing Lucas has and Jamie."

Nathan shrugged and got off the bed and pulled on his shorts, "It was nice. Weird but nice."

"You don't think it's strange all three of you have had dreams about her?" I asked.

"No, why do you?" Nathan asked.

I shook my head, "Not really, just random huh."

Nathan nodded and pulled on a sweater, "Yeah, so I'll be back in a minute."

"Okay, thank you." I said blowing Nathan a kiss, he smiled back and left me alone.

Nathan, Lucas and Jamie all having dreams about Brooke? Again I had logical explanations and I made myself believe it was just coincidence, it was right.

* * *

"I got games for my wii, a new cool hamster cage and a hamster I named Penelope. I got some toys, a remote controlled car, um some books, a jersey, a new bike, some new sneakers like dad's, and I still have all my gifts from Uncle Lucas, Grandma Deb, Aunt Peyton and Uncle Mouth to open." Jamie told Skills as he sat happily next to him while they played the play station 3.

"Wow, Santa did well this year huh. I never got all that when I was a kid" Skills replied.

"Maybe because you were naughty?" Jamie suggested, I laughed to myself.

"Ah maybe your right."

I was distracted from the guys conversation By Deb who appeared in a sexy Santa suit.

"Wow you look very… festive." I said shocked, still she had the figure.

Deb smirked, "Thanks Haley. I figured I'd get in the spirit of things."

"I'm sure you did." I said before walking into the kitchen.

In the Kitchen I found Nathan and Lucas who were cooking and Peyton who sat on the counter watching sipping wine.

I sighed, "God I could do with a glass today has been hectic."

"Here have a alcohol free beer." Peyton said passing me a bottle.

"How are you guys doing with the food?" I asked concerned.

Peyton laughed, "They are doing okay. Who's idea was this again?"

I put my arm around Peyton's waist and leaned on her slightly, "Mine. Well I said after thanksgiving I was so tired and now I am even bigger it was going to be worse being on my feet all day and these guys said it couldn't be that hard so I challenged them to cook."

Lucas shut the oven, "Meat will be another half hour, this isn't that hard."

I rolled my eyes, "Oh and the dishes and clearing also comes as part of the deal so we will see what you are saying at the end of the day."

"Why doesn't my beautiful wife and my soon to be sister in-law go join the others and leave us two men to it." Nathan said smugly.

Peyton jumped down, "Fine by me, just don't burn the place down."

I laughed along with Peyton as we headed to the den and found a spot to sit.

"How's the wedding stuff coming along Peyton?" Mouth asked.

Peyton smiled, "Okay, I'm just having a really hard time finding the right dress."

"We will find the perfect dress do not worry. Just promise you wont put me in the worst maid of honour dress ever."

Peyton laughed, "I was thinking bright yellow, puffy and frilly."

"You will look pretty Mom." Jamie said.

I laughed, "Aw thank you Jamie. Peyton was kidding, well she better be."

"I get to wear a cool tux."

"That's right J man, you excited?" Peyton asked.

Jamie looked up from his wii, "The last time I went to a wedding was when uncle Lucas was meant to marry Lindsey and when carried tried dying my hair."

There was silence in the room for a minute.

"Well I promise there will be no Lindsey and no Carrie how about that? And you get to stand up front with your uncle Lucas and your Dad." Peyton promised.

Jamie smiled, "Okay cool!"

"Are Karen, Andy and Lilly coming?" I asked sure they would.

"Yeah they will be there." Peyton said with a yawn.

I smiled, "You tired?"

"Yeah I have been having so strange dreams, I'll wake up and wont be able to sleep."

Dreams, I didn't even want to ask but like I knew the answer already. I didn't say anything, now wasn't the time or place and if Peyton had wanted to talk about it I'm sure she would have carried on. It was puzzling now, four people having these dreams. I don't think were in Kansas anymore.

* * *

The thing with Labour is afterwards the pain you felt you can't really describe. It's painful sure but you forget how much as when you hold your child nothing else in the world matters.

"Nathan." I said one hand clutching my belly and the other on my back.

Nathan was in the school gym shooting some hoops, I had been home alone and Nathan wasn't answering his cell so I carefully got into a cab and headed to the school. All the way the pain I could cope with, nothing to bad. As I stood in the gym I felt that pop and my waters burst onto the gym floor.

Nathan's eyes looked down at the wet patch in my pants, "The babies are coming right?"

I smiled through the pain, "Yeah they are."

Nathan threw down the ball and rushed over to me grabbing me in his arms and setting me down on the belcher. I could see he was panicked but he was trying to stay calm.

"Why the hell are you here? You should have called a ambulance, or me not dragged your butt here. I better call a ambulance give me your cell phone." Nathan said hurriedly.

I breathed through the contraction, "I just wanted you and your cell was off and I knew you were here and at the time the pain wasn't this bad."

I lent forward and I felt a rush of pain again, "Nathan they are coming really fast."

"Hello, we need a ambulance right way. My wife is in labour with twins, were in the gym of Tree hill high school please hurry. My name is Nathan Scott." Nathan said before shutting the cell and coming to my side and taking my hand.

"Okay breath, in and out."

"I am breathing!" I yelled.

"Keep calm." Nathan said more panicked.

I squeezed his hand harder, "I am calmer than you."

"Were ready right?" Nathan asked, I knew he didn't just mean labour he meant for these two new children in our lives.

After letting out another scream I turned to him, "I don't know I am scared, but as long as you are here with me and are my husband I know it's all going to be okay."

Nathan kissed me, "God I love you so much."

"I love you too." I replied before letting out a scream.

"What's going on?" Lucas asked appearing in the gym.

Nathan held both my hands now, "The babies are coming."

I glanced at Lucas through my messy bangs that were in my eyes due to the sweat on my forehead he looked more scared than Nathan and I put together.

"Have you called a ambulance?" Lucas asked sitting to the other side of me.

"Yes." Nathan replied wiping my forehead with his hand.

"Shall I get some hot water and towels?" Lucas asked.

I took a deep breath, "This isn't the nineteen forties. The paramedics will be here soon."

"Go wait outside for them." Nathan suggested.

Lucas hesitated, "You going to be okay buddy?"

I gave him a weak smile, "Yeah I just want these out of me. "

Lucas kissed my head before running out of the gym and toward the entrance, luckily it was late afternoon and all the pupils had left. I got Nathan to take off my jeans as they were chafing me and I new there was no need for them on. Nathan laid his sweater over my legs.

"Haley your going to be a Momma again to two beautiful babies." Nathan gushed still letting me squeeze him tightly.

After another squeeze and scream I looked at him, "And you a father."

"You are doing so good baby, keep breathing. I love you."

At that point I knew I was going to have my children on that gym floor it was too late for hospitals they were coming.

"Nathan I need to lay down, they are coming." I said getting on my hands and knees.

Nathan got beside me and still held me, "We got to wait for the paramedics."

"Tell that to them." I screamed.

Thankfully at that moment the Paramedics entered the gym followed by Lucas who still looked more panicked than myself.

"Okay Haley is it? Lay back let us take a look." The female paramedic said.

I leaned back against Nathan and opened my legs, I saw Lucas turn a shade of green and hurry to the side out of view of anything coming out of my vagina.

"We have a head, it's to late to take you in."

With that it was kind of a blur, I can't remember much of it now except Lucas and Nathan telling me to breath and making panting noises. But I had my babies on the floor of the One tree hill gym.

* * *

"Look at your sister and brother." Deb said bringing Jamie into our room at the hospital a couple of hours after the great birth in the gym.

Jamie came to the bed where I sat up on the bed holding my new little boy, Nathan said on the edge holding our first daughter.

"They look wrinkled." Jamie commented scrunching up his nose.

Nathan laughed, "Yeah not as cute as you little man."

Jamie peered at his brother and sister lovingly, I hoped he would accept the new additions without feeling resentment or jealous like some children experience after being the only child for a long time.

"They are okay I guess, at least I have more people to play with now. I'm going to love them a lot and look after them." Jamie said placing a gentle kiss on his sisters then brothers heads. I was proud of him.

"So any names yet?" Deb asked taking my daughter from Nathan and holding her proudly in her arms.

"We decided to call our daughter Madison-Brooke Scott." I said happily.

"That is lovely." Deb said.

Jamie smiled, "That's nice. I like it. Brooke would love that."

I handed our baby son over to Nathan who already adored them both. I pulled Jamie into a hug and squeezed him hard.

"And the boy we decided to go with Riley Keith Scott." Nathan told Deb and Jamie.

Deb smiled, "So wonderful."

"Is that after my great uncle Keith that died?" Jamie asked.

Nathan nodded, "Yeah he was a great man. Just like your middle name is after a great guy."

Jamie nodded.

"Don't tell your uncle Lucas I said that." Nathan added with a laugh.

"Well Haley you need some rest, going to get the nurses to take the babies back to the ward as I think a few people want to see them and you can get some sleep." Nathan said getting up from his seat with Riley in his arms.

I kissed Jamie, "See you soon jimmy jam."

"Love you Momma." Jamie said exiting the room.

Deb brought over Madison and I kissed her forehead, Nathan then lent down and I kissed Riley before they were both placed in there cribs ready to wheel out.

"You did so good baby, so proud of you." Nathan said as he hugged me.

"I love you." I said sleepily.


	3. Chapter 3

**Visit me in my dreams.**

**Chapter 3.**

"I am exhausted." Nathan said crashing out on the couch next to me.

I sighed, "Tell me about it."

"You get one to sleep the other wakes up, you feed one the other needs its diaper changed, one needs burping the others wants a bottle. It doesn't stop." Nathan said closing his eyes.

"Then Jamie comes home and he's like the Tasmanian devil tearing through the house. Making noise, wanting to play, needing his dinner, and our attention." I added.

Nathan took my hand in his and held it tightly, "I wouldn't change it for the world."

I opened my eyes and looked at Nathan who was smiling, "Me either."

It was crazy and non stop, we were tired and worn out but it was so worth it. I loved our family and Nathan did too.

"I swear Madison smiled at me today." Nathan said.

We both held hands but our eyes were still shut as we laid back and relaxed.

"God she's only a month old and already has you wrapped around her finger. She's going to be such a daddy's girl." I said.

Nathan laughed, "Maybe, how could you not fall in love with her? She's hot Haley James's big beautiful eyes and nose and all that hair. I love all my children the same, I adore them all but Madison is so, so breath taking."

I smiled to myself, "She'll be breaking hearts before we know it."

"Nathan squeezed my hand playfully, "No boys, not until she is forty and even then I am going all Robert Diniro meet the parents on his ass."

"Oh but Jamie and Riley can date chicks?" I asked.

"Yeah two handsome guys like them, they are bound to get the chicks. Hello they take after there father"

I let go of Nathan's hand and moved closer to him resting my head on his chest "I hope our children have the happiest life."

"They will, they are perfect and I will do anything for each of them." Nathan said wrapping his arms around me.

We fell asleep after that for what must have been a half hour if that, and awoke to a cry on the baby monitor.

"I'll go." I said getting up with a yawn.

"No I will." Nathan protested also getting to his feet.

I smiled, "No it's fine I will." I walked towards the stairs.

Nathan followed, "Haley go rest up, I can deal with this."

I looked at Nathan, "But I want to go." I said with a pout.

"So do I, it's like I'm addicted to them."

Nathan and I stared at each other for a second.

"First one up there?" Nathan asked.

I smirked and ran up the stairs closely followed by Nathan, we both laughed.

* * *

I liked weddings, I mean I had two myself so a chance to celebrate the union of two people was wonderful in my opinion. I stood in my bedroom in my black maid of honour dress, It wasn't my choice of colour but it was still gorgeous. Peyton's dark side had gotten the better of her when it came to the colour scheme. We had beautiful specially made black and white lilies bouquets. Peyton's dress was amazing tight around her waist and flowing out at the bottom it a stunning white with a strip of black lace around the corset.

"You look amazing." I gushed as Peyton entered from having her hair done.

Her hair was swept back with a few loose curls hanging down her face and the veil hanging down onto her shoulders. She was stunning.

"I cannot believe my wedding day is here." Peyton said her face pale due to nerves I guessed.

I squeezed her arm, "You're beautiful, Lucas is a lucky guy."

I think we both felt the missing piece was Brooke standing there with us.

"God I wish she was here." Peyton said taking a seat on the bed as if she didn't have the strength to stand.

I sat beside her and wiped a loose tear from her cheek, "I do too, but I know she wouldn't want you up-set. She'd be saying P. Sawyer stop crying right now, you'll mess your make-up up."

We both laughed through our tears, "You are right, I just need to get myself together. I had a dream last night that and in it Brooke said don't get up-set just breath and enjoy your day."

"Everyone is having dreams about Brooke and talking to her. It's so strange." I said.

"Yeah I thought that, Lucas had them and Lucas told me Jamie and Nathan had. It's far from normal but I like having them, it's like in a way she's still with us."

Peyton's father entered to tell us the car's were ready and it was time to go. I kissed Peyton before we headed downstairs.

* * *

"Nice speech thanks you guys." Lucas said as he joined us at the table. The wedding had gone great, it was now the reception and the drinks, food and music were flowing.

I smiled, "No problem."

Lucas sighed, "Been a great day hasn't it. I am so happy."

"You deserve it man." Nathan said putting Lucas on the back.

"Peyton looks stunning." I commented as I looked at Peyton across the dance floor who was dancing with Jamie.

"The twins are getting real cranky Deb said she'll take them home but I might go with her."

"No, Mom can handle it Haley. We'll leave in a hour or so. Look at J man he's loving it." Nathan said nodding toward Jamie.

I smiled, "Okay but we can't be too long."

"Care to Dance?" Marvin McFadden asked appearing in front of me.

I smiled, "Don't mind if I do."

"Keep your hands where I can see them McFadden!" Nathan yelled playfully and Mouth and I took to the dance floor.

"How have you been Mouth?" I asked as we danced slowly to some cheesy Ballard.

"Okay, Florida is great I just miss Brooke sometimes."

I coughed nervously, "You haven't had any weird dreams have you?"

Mouth looked at me for a moment like I was crazy, "Maybe."

"Like Brooke talking to you, Visiting you even?"

"Yeah, have you? Oh my god."

I shook my head, "No not me, Jamie, Lucas, Nathan and even Peyton have. I just wondered as it seemed to be going around."

"Wow. Yeah we were in Tree hill Gym alone we were just talking. I used to have them a lot now not so much."

"Hey can I cut in?" Nathan asked.

Mouth smiled, "Sure, I think the bride needs a dance with mouth."

Mouth headed off and Nathan put his arm around my waist and my hand in his and we danced slowly with each other, I gazed up into his beautiful eyes.

"Everyone's had a Brooke dream but me." I said.

I was jealous and angry, in a way I felt like I was the kid in the play ground that didn't get picked for games. I loved and missed Brooke as much as anyone else, and if by a small chance these dreams were Brookes way of visiting us why wasn't I having them.

"And you are up-set because you haven't had one?"

"I guess."

Nathan smiled, "Doesn't mean anything. Just random dreams we've all had."

"I know, but I am starting to forget the sound of her voice, and I am so scared I'm going to forget every little thing. And I miss her."

"Baby don't beat yourself up about this."

I rested my head on Nathan's chest as we danced, "I know. Just being silly."

* * *

_I stood in a field of barley, It felt like gold as the sun blazed down. I looked around and there was nothing except fields and fields. It was beautiful day, I was wearing flowing red summer dress and my hair was hanging on my shoulders. I wondered for a moment why I was here, then it became clear._

_"Hey tutor girl."_

_I turned and there in a beautiful white summer dress stood Brooke Davis looking a young and pretty as the first day I ever spoke to her. I threw my arms around my friend and she even smelled the same._

_"You haven't called me that in years. "I sad with a smile letting her go._

_Broke smiled, "Yeah should be Teacher Mom now I guess. But Tutor girl is still my favourite."_

_"Mine too, so I'm dreaming right?" I asked._

_Brooke gave me a half smile, "Maybe. All I know is were here and were talking."_

_"I missed you Brooke." I said holding back my tears._

_"I know, but don't get up-set I don't want to keep doing this. I want to rest."_

_I frowned, "What do you mean?"_

_"It's not important, what is important is you guys."_

_"Why did you do it Brooke?" I asked, I had to know._

_Brooke took my hand and we walked a while to we hit a patch of Barley that had been beaten down so we could sit._

_"I was depressed and I wasn't thinking straight. I'd had a miscarriage that no one knew about and I was feeling so alone." Brooke explained._

_I gasped, "You should have told me, I'm so sorry."_

_"It's okay. But I took some pills and it happened. That's all I can say. But I know I am happy here. And I watch you guys all the time and visit you."_

_"What is it like?" I asked curious._

_Brooke shrugged, "I can't tell you. You have got to raise those beautiful children and live your life Haley."_

_"Why haven't you visited me before?" I asked hurt._

_"Because everyone else needed me more. You are the strongest girl I have ever met and it's not because I didn't want to it's just I knew you'd be okay." Brooke tried to explain as she played with a strand of Barley._

_"Did you visit Jamie?" I asked, a lot of questions were popping into my head._

_"Maybe, Maybe not. I know he carries that feather with him and it helped him deal so either way it doesn't matter."_

_I nodded, "You visit him in his dreams a lot?" I asked._

_"I didn't want to until he was older. It didn't feel right invading his little dreams like that. But he started asking god for me to visit him so I did. I always watch him, you could say I'm his guardian angel."_

_"Where do we go from here?" I asked._

_"You all have happy things going on in your lives you need to go on with them be happy, live, have fun. I intend to where I am going. I watch the twins, they are beautiful and thanks for the shout out with the middle name." Brooke laughed._

_I tried to laughed but I felt so sad, "I wish you could hold them."_

_"I do too but you know I still love them. It's all okay Haley, I am fine."_

_I leant over and we hugged again, "I love you Brooke Davis."_

_"I love you too Haley James Scott. And a little advice, when Madison gets older and wants to go out on a date with the hot guy in her freshman class let her - he becomes a millionaire."_

_Next thing I knew I was wide awake sitting upright in bed, Brooke had gone._

* * *

Even after the dream I didn't know what to think but still I in a way accepted it and felt happier like what she said was true and that she was okay and happy. I didn't tell anyone about my dream I wanted a memory of Brooke just for me.

The next morning I crept into the twins room where the slept peacefully. I then went into Jamie's room, I picked up the white feather and sat at the window feeling it with my fingers. Jamie stayed asleep and I watched him, I was so thankful for my life and my husband and my kids. Everything happens for a reason I thought to myself.

"Momma?" Jamie asked croakily.

"Jimmy jam, I'm sorry did I wake you?" I asked. I walked over and sat on the bed.

Jamie wiped his eyes, "No… I was dreaming it was funny.

"What about?" I asked rubbing my sons belly.

"I can't say, It's between me and my friend." Jamie said sternly.

I smiled, "Okay. So want to go make so eggs and have breakfast?"

"Yeah! Can we have pancakes and bacon?" Jamie asked.

"Sure, lets go!"

Jamie and I raced downstairs and I started cooking, Jamie helped me. I cooked pancakes, bacon, waffles, eggs, French toast. It was a little over the top.

"What's going on here?" Nathan asked entering the kitchen with a awake twins in each arm.

"Look Dad were making breakfast."

I kissed Nathan and took Riley and we put the twins in there seats where they sat happily looking at us.

"Looks great, I'm hungry!" Nathan said kissing Jamie's head.

"I think it's going to be a great day." I said flipping a pancake.

Nathan nodded, "I think so too."

"Can we go play ball at the river court after?" Jamie asked Nathan who looked at a me.

"How about we make a picnic and we all go out for the day and you can play ball down at the court for a while?" I suggested.

Nathan smirked, "Sounds like a plan, what you think J man?"

"Yeah! Cool…" Jamie got off his stool and went over to the twins and kissed them both on the head.

"The twins want to go?" I asked jokingly.

Jamie nodded, "They want to go too.!"

After that day everything got a bit easier, we all missed Brooke but somehow it was not as hard to live. Life went on and it was good. Peyton and Lucas had a child, a girl called Katy. They carried on living in Tree hill near us, Lucas wrote and Peyton did her music. They were happy. Mouth met a girl and married her, they live down in Florida where Mouth works as a sports reporter. Deb remarried a guy she met at singles night called Hank and they moved to Mexico but they visit all the time. Skills still coaches, he had a girlfriend last time I asked. He still loves having the kids. As for Nathan and I, we spent a happy life together had one more child, another boy we called Stephen James Scott. I still think of most days, but just the happy memories. She touched us all in so many ways and will forever be missed.

**Thanks for the good feed back. I wrote this last weekend while bored in a few hours. Just some fluff. More fics to come most AU. But thanks for reading guys.**


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